i will be with you

Over the last week, I've overcome a lot of .. hills. The mountain is behind me and I'm in the hills now, just gotta get over each one till I'm at the flat land.

Last Wednesday, I was led to this passage.

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
3 For I am the LORD your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; Isaiah 43:1b-3

Over the last week, I've meditated over this scripture and kept to the promises that I will be just fine. In life, we often look at the things we are going through as these huge events and we often can't see past the event because it is so large. God wants us to look past the waters, the fire, the hills and to know that he will bring us through right to the end.

I walked without crutches today. I was so excited and when I showed Will I could tell that he was so proud. It took a step of faith, a moment of.. let go of the crutch.. stop relying on it! You can't walk down the aisle with that? (Do you have a crutch that holds you back?)

Before dinner, Will and I walked to the sweet shop up the road. About 8 blocks total in distance but the killer was the hill home. It is cobblestone and hilly so I had to watch EVERY step and make sure I had sure footing the whole way.

I can't tell you how thankful I am that I can walk with out crutches. They are small slow steps but they are with free hands! I can go to the kitchen and get my own glass of water and bring it back to my desk or the living room without asking.

The recovery will still take time, I know that but I'm so thankful for this .. that the Holy One of Israel, heals me, sets me free and gives me grace.

Here's a quick video of me walking:
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typeTAP Water Revolution

Serve the City Launch..

Will & I are part of the Serve the City Admin Team for Budapest. We went to Brussels back in November and we are finally able to get a project off the ground!!

Nothing to fancy yet simple enough for many/all people to join. We are going to have a trash-pick up event in Uj-pest (nothern Budapest)

We have bright yellow vests which I will spray paint and we will have gloves & trash bags. After a getting to know one another game to build community we will set off to this area to pick up some trash and clean up the streets. We are pretty excited even if 6 people show up!

We will then celebrate with a Pizza Party and enjoy more company! Will & I have been excited to be a part of something like this so that we can assist the city we live in. We are going to do another trash pick up and then we will do a ministry with the disabled.

Check out the website that Will has been working on! I'll post pictures of the event on Sunday, I'm sure ;) Pray for our event that perhaps some new people might be coming!!

The cast came off.. and the fears arose

This morning Will & I were picked up by the private ambulance to go back to Szent Janos Korhaz (St. John's Hospital). The first thing was the removal of the cast which was scary because he used a circular saw and I could imagine my toe being chopped off!! Then the second thing was x-rays and then to see the surgeon in the "kontroll" room. He told me to walk, do exercises and to walk! I said thanks and then I came home!

First, I took a nap then woke up and had some lunch. I then got to work on my leg. Since it had been in a cast for many weeks there was a lot of care that needed to be done. I won't go into detail because it was one of the most disgusting things I've ever done. (not looking forward to children/know I should never be a nurse)

After my shower/bath I got to work on using Mederma on my scars and felt these sudden fears arise within me. Feeling overwhelmed and afraid I just begin to whimper, then to cry, cry, cry. Will just held me and told me I'd be okay and I knew I would but I think the thing that hit me the most was that I'd have to walk with this pain and the long road of recovery that lay before me and these literal words came out of my mouth.. "Will, I just want my cast on because its much easier and safer"

After settling down, I went to my Bible and read some passages that my father marked when I went through a hard time. I read and re-read these verses and felt a peace come over my heart. I was thankful that God would see me through these murky waters and the storm ahead. I then had more confidence to work on some physical therapy for my ankle. I did these exercises which helped my ankle become more agile and not so stiff. It was not easy and there was a lot of discomfort but I know that in the end it will be worth it when I take my first step again.

So, now, I am learning to be patient, to trust God even more than before and believe that he will heal this ankle even more.

Thanks for praying for me and I continue to covet your prayers for the road to recovery! The road of walking!

3 more days...

In 3 days.. the surgeon will decide whether or not I will get to take my cast off or whether or not I will keep it on to help it heal some more. It will be weird to have the cast come off. I've had it on for about 6 weeks now and I've learned how to sit with it, to sleep with it on, to cook standing, to bathe with it. It is always with me and I don't think I'll miss it when it is gone ;).

In the last 47 days I've been thinking, contemplating, and praying about what God's been teaching me as I've been home all this time. One of the biggest things that I've seen happen is realize how much closer Will & I have become. We do spend a lot of time together and have also started our pre-marital counseling book so we are getting to know each other deeply. I've learned to "need" Will in a healthy sense as well.

I'm sure that none of you know that I'm not often very "needy" or rather.. I'm too prideful to ask for help from others for most things. Well all of that changed drastically 47 days ago when I couldn't not even go to the bathroom without assistance or get a glass of water. Now, with team work a lot of the times, I'm able to do some things with Will's help and sometimes he does them. It's a lesson that I'm learning that just because it is not done my way doesn't mean its not good ;) I've started meditating on verses which teach me to be humble, to not be prideful because this feeds into a lot of things in my life..

So for now, I leave you with a verse I read.. this is more of a prayer..

Faithful Father, Thank you for giving us more grace, You oppose the proud but give grace to the humble. (james 4:6)

I love him

bored...and wedding fast..

It's been 1 month exactly since I came home from the hospital.. amazing that it was one month ago. Part of it has gone by fast and part of it has gone by like molassssssses. Speaking of Molasses.. one way I've been passing my time is by watching.. Little House on the Prairie. This was one of my favorite shows growing up as a little girl. I downloaded a season and watched it and now I'm on a different season. I love the wholesome, good ol'fashioned TV of the late 70's and early 80's. OH MICHAEL LANDON :)

Since I've been on house arrest, after reading, working out, browsing the internet I've gotten bored. Thankfully I've had a lot of wedding stuff to do..but I decided that for this upcoming week I was going to take a break from wedding planning. Things can wait. I don't even read my favorite wedding blogs ;)

Sometimes, things can become "too much" in your life and you need a break from it.

Lent will be here starting next Wednesday. I usually fast from something during this time, I want to prayerfully consider what I might fast from this year.

Blueberry Boy Bait..made healthy

There is a recipe that I love called Blueberry Boy Bait..except when you make it with the regular ingredients it's super unhealthy full of lots of calories.. how many.. 500 per serving to be exact..

Here is how I modified it..
Serves 15

1.5 cups whole-wheat flour
.5 cups all purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon table salt
7 tablespoons unsalted butter , softened
6 tablespoons canola oil
1.25 cups of baking splenda
1 tsp of molasses
3 large eggs
1 cup skim milk (though buttermilk, which was all I had on hand, worked just great)
1 cup blueberries, fresh or frozen (if frozen, do not defrost first as it tends to muddle in the batter)

Topping
1/2 cup blueberries, fresh or frozen (do not defrost)
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

When you make it like this.. there i no sugar and less flour so it only contains 200 calories per serving!! DELICIOUS :) And you can work it off in one work out ;)

For the cake: Adjust oven rack to middle position and heat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour 13 by 9-inch baking pan.

Whisk two cups flour, baking powder, and salt together in medium bowl. With electric mixer, beat butter and sugars on medium-high speed until fluffy, about two minutes. Add eggs, one at a time, beating until just incorporated and scraping down bowl. Reduce speed to medium and beat in one-third of flour mixture until incorporated; beat in half of milk. Beat in half of remaining flour mixture, then remaining milk, and finally remaining flour mixture. Toss blueberries with remaining one teaspoon flour. Using rubber spatula, gently fold in blueberries. Spread batter into prepared pan.

For the topping:
Scatter blueberries over top of batter. Stir sugar and cinnamon together in small bowl and sprinkle over batter. Bake until toothpick inserted in center of cake comes out clean, 45 to 50 minutes. Cool in pan 20 minutes, then turn out and place on serving platter (topping side up). Serve warm or at room temperature. (Cake can be stored in airtight container at room temperature up to 3 days.)